| OBSTACLES TO A BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE After listening to married couples, and reading prayer request I see a common thread of consistant obstacles that prevent couples from having the beautiful marriage that God intended. The first is the use of the tongue. "With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men who have been made in the similtude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren these things ought not to be so." (James 3:9 How can we stand and worship God and then spew out bitter angry words to our spouse, or criticize, gossip, slander, backbite or badmouth. with this same tongue. That does not improve our relationship with God or other people, most especially our spouse. Without control over our words our religious acts are worthless, and hypocritical. "James 1:26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain. So in otherwords It is a deception to think that Jesus is Lord over our life, without Him also becoming the LORD OVER OUR TONGUE. As Christians we need to call out to God and ask for the Holy Spirit to help us to bridle our tongue. Unfortunately mouth sins have become the norm, and for the most part is ignored in the church so it is rampant. Gossip and slander are viewed as little habits. But Paul wrote to the church in Rome ans spoke of this as equal to murderes sexuall deviants, and haters of God. Go to Romans 1:25-32 This is serious my brothers and sisters. Many of our prayers go unanswered, and we have experienced much tribualtion, because of our mouth, going unchecked. Using our tongue to lash out, ridicule, gossip about or slander other people is sin, and we know that unrepentant sins, cuts us off from the flow of God to answered prayer. Proverbs 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. Psalm 15:1-3 A Psalm of David. Lord, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill? [2] He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart. [3] He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour. If we want to abide in Gods Presence, and to experience His blessings we need to guard our tongue. Psalm 34:12-13 What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good? [13] Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile. The Lord says we are going to be held accoutable for our words, it will determine our condemnation or justification. Matthew 12:36-37 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. [37] For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned. If you realize your tongue is out of control, seek His forgiveness and ask Him to change the attitude of your heart and mouth. Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. The bible is clear that we as woman are to have a gentle quiet spirit. 1 Peter 3:1-4 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; [2] While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. [3] Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; [4] But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. I must also mention here grumbling and complaining. I have done a fair share of this myself. And it is clearly a sin. If we are not praising God and thanking Him for our circumstances, even talking about them in a negative tone to others could constitute sin. And you will find that your problems only compoundd when you complain to others. Yes, I said compound, I mean get worse, believe me I have seen this in my own life. this is a sin we must ask God to remove from us. Go to God, He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Ask Him to forgive you and to cleans your heart and tongue. He will give you grace in this area. The children of Israel grumbled and complained, after God met every need, even the soles of their shoes did not wear out in their trek those fory years through the wilderness. If that whole trip should be an example to us. You can read all about it in Exodus through Joshua. If we are still complaining we are still living in the wilderness rather than living in the kingdom The next area I would like to look at is your thought life. What do you spend time thinking about? YOU MUST take CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS, AND IF YOU DON'T SATAN WILL FILL YOUR MIND WITH LIES, AND YOU WON'T EVEN REALIZE THAT IT IS HIM. Are you thinking constantly about your situation? If you are God is not able to do the work in you that He wants to, and you may be tying His hands. Think on these things. Philip. 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. As often as you can check your thoughts, do they line up with that scripture? The next obstacle to a beautiful marriage is anger, it clearly destroys any hope of having a beautiful marriage, and frequently it is the mouth that stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Ephes. 4:29-32 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. [30] And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. [31] Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: [32] And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Clamour is loud speaking, or yelling, and of course I am sure you recognise what evil speaking is, hopefully none of you have been guilty of that. I am not here to condemn you or anyone, just helping you to see some obstacles in our marriages. We have all struggled with these issues. As the word tells us this grieves the Holy Spirit, and strife hinders our prayers. 1 Peter 3:9-12 Another problem I see is listening, or rather not listening to our spouse and others when they are speaking. I do mean really listening. Not talking, until he or she is finished. Proverbs 18:13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: Another obstacle is unforgiveness, and this usually occurs when something is said or done that we hold against another. It is clear in scriptures if we want forgiveness we must clearly forgive others, bringing up past hurts or events is not true forgiveness. Yes it is hard to forget some of the hurt that has been inflicted upon us. But in order for you to be forgiven the bible clearly tells us we must forgive. We don't use it against one another down the road. If the situation occurs again, you still must forgive, and if you are having a problem doing that, ask our forgiving Father in heaven to help you do that. How many times must you forgive? Matthew 18:22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. The last issue I want to address here is Infidelity, or adultry as the bible calls it. This is a serious problem in our culture, and sad to say in the church. I guess I didn't realize how serious it was until I read the many prayer requests regarding the husband leaving the home for an OW or other woman as it is called. It isn't just a problem among husbands but wives as well. Often times it is a get even situation. Like that makes it right? I was talking to my husband about this. I asked him why this is happening among men? He told me because now days women throw themselves at the man, they don't even wait for the man to ask them out. He said there are 7-8 times more women to only 1 man. And even Christian women are guilty of going after any man, whether he is married or single, just because they do not want to wait for God's choice. I believe we have a rampant lust problem on our hands, and I believe that it starts with being discontent, and envious of what others have. Whether it be possessions or companions. Pornography is completely out of control in this country and around the world. I was shocked to hear and read of the many Pastors evangelist, and ministers of the gospel who admitted they were into pornography, especially the web. Those peope will stoop to just about anything to get you hooked. I found quite accidently in my bookmarks or favorites, about four porn sites I never visited, or knew about for that matter, And I live alone and no one has been in my apartment. How they were able to put them there is beyond me, but I safely deleted them without seeing any of the trash. This is an epidemic flooding our country, far more deadly to the Christian than any other disease, and more difficult to break, than alcohol and drugs or any other addiction. This is spiritually deadly,so extreme that a mans wife no longer seems attractive, because, he must go on to greater thrills. that is the way of an addicion. The bible is clear about lust, the lust of the eyes the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. 1 John 2:15-17 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. [16] For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. [17] And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. James 1:14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. The most wonderful news is that we have hope, Jesus Christ. and this is all the more reason why as standers we must pray. for ourselves as well as our mates, and for this country. If you have a problem in any of these areas, now is the time to go to our loving heavenly Father, and confess these sins, and forsake, turn and away form them, and ask God to help you overcome each one of them. Now is the time to get your relationship right with the Lord, while you are waiting for that prodigal to come home. Now is the time to PRAY and FORGIVE! Matthew 6:14-15 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: [15] But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Now I want to speak especially to those standers who are standing for the restoration of their marriage. As you know foregiveness is very vital to the restoration of your marriage, but down the road forgiveness is not throwing it back in your mates face, when there is a disagreement. I see this as a major stumbling block. As it completely opens up the old wounds, and the door to satan to come waltzing right back into your marriage. Love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. God Bless You all, we will be praying for each one of you on our prayer list. In His love, Briant&Shanna George For more articles go to: http://www.geocities.com/giftofgod4u |
|
|