| BUILDING SUCESSFUL MARRIAGES by Shanna Geor Ephes. 5:25-29 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; [26] That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, [27] That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. [28] So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. [29] For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For a marriage to be sucessful it must be both like the type of Christ and the church, and the shepherd and the sheep. I am fairly sure you know that the Christian marriage is a type of the bride of Christ and the church. So as we are being prepared for the supper of the lamb where we will be one with the Lord forever. We must be without spot or wrinkle or any such thing. We are now being prepared for that day. So is a bride as she waits for the man who God has prepared for her. She makes her self ready and makes all the preparations to walk down the aisle with the groom. Our growth in marriage is a type because we are growing as one, as we keep Jesus as our center and focus He changes us into His image daily and we likewise become one with Him and with each other. It is a type of Jesus Christ and His relationship with the church. Jesus Christ laid His life down for his people the church, and likewise should a man lay his life down for his wife, this is why it is so important to wait for God's choice, because a man must really have the love God gives him for his wife and know that this is truly from God, in order to go to that extreme. You must have a man that is willing to put self aside and lay his life down for his wife. And only God knows who that man is. But this group is for those who have already taken the step in a covenant marriage, that means marriage for life. For some of you it might be a tough road to follow but whoever said marriage was a rose garden didn't know there were thorns. Yes, God can through prayer and the wife submitting to the husband in love, and as unto God, change a man. God can do anything. Matthew 19:26 . But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. Submission seems impossible, I know I agree with it, but it is a real challenge. If the marriage reflects the type of Shepherd and sheep, it is easier to attain. this is the second type of Christ and the church and often not brought out in Christian messages. The shepherd leads, guides, protects and loves the sheep. He speaks in quiet tones, he is gentle, and yet he is firm about what he wants. The shepherd of the sheep leads he doesn't drive, nourishes, cherishes and loves the sheep and in turn they will follow him anywhere. They will come willingly when he calls. Nourish=Sustain with food, enrich, provide sustenance, feed encourage. Cherish= Protect or tend,lovingly hold dear, cling to, foster cultivate, nurture, prize and treasure. This is similar to the type of the Gardener and the garden, which I talk about on the web site. The husbands role is to feed and give encouragement and give spiritual nourishment, he was given the role of spiritual leader in the home. This brings about intimacy and respect. The sheep would get frightened and scatter if the shepherd was harsh and treated them roughly, the shepherd trains them with his gentle voice, and loving authority, and the sheep follow him willingly. If one of the sheep wander off, he goes to find it, and protects the flock from danger Now if you can see the picture here that God has given us. The husband lays his life down for his wife and family, he loves her, nourishes her and cherishes her as he does his own body, and the wife out of respect, lovingly submits to the husband. In a marriage two people become one, there are two intellects, two kinds of emotions, and two wills, that have become one. To keep the union from being split a part or divided, one person has the responsibility of being the leader in the relationsip and the other the submitter. God has chosen the husband as the leader and the wife as the submitter. The word says that the wife is to have a gentle quiet spirit in submission, which is very precious in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. I don't know about you but this can be tough sometimes, but what it means is doing what your husband asks without getting into arguments regarding the issue. I find that when the man follows this shepherd pattern it is much easier and desireable to submit. What we need to always remember is we do everything as unto the Lord. 1 Peter 3:7-9 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. [8] Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: [9] Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. As a husband dwells with the wife with understanding and honors her, knowing that God made the wife the weaker vessel, to be the submitter to be more emotional, and physically weaker, he will remember to watch how he treats her and talks to her, as she can respect and reverence her husband. So that the prayers are not hindered by strife or abuse. The biggest problem in marriage is allowing the flesh to be in control and the tongue to lash out. 1 Peter 3:9-12 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. [10] For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: [11] Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it. [12] For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil. The key here is to follow the prescription as God said it, in the word. Submission has become an ugly word in todays marriage, but the reason is that men in the past and (some do now) have abused authority and used it to dominate and control his wife. This has brought so much damage to marriages as well as lives and whole families. Because one person or the other tries to be in control and the relationship ends up in violence and lives are shattered. It is so important to actually do what the word says it isn't easy but if you make a mistake you humble yourself and ask for forgiveness and you move on in obedince to God's word. James 1:22-24 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. [23] For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: [24] For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. Even if your husband or wife is not that way now, by following God's plan and praying He will change the situation and the other party.The word says that even if the husband does not obey the word by her submission and her chaste conduct or actions, he may be won without her saying a word. it isn't what she does, it is what God does by her quiet submission. 1 Peter 3:1-2 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; [2] While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. You will find that we will post Christian counselors works regarding marriage they are very good, but following God's word is best. That is your plumbline for a great marriage. If you want to discuss this or have questions feel free to ask. In His precious love, Briant and Shanna George |